Dating a guy who used to be fat

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I know that it’s tough to overcome the reality that larger people are deeply discriminated against and erased from current beauty ideals.However, those “ideals” presented by media, fashion and popular culture diminish, demean and leave out a lot of people, not just because of their size but because of their ethnicity, ability, gender presentation or class.What I needed was someone to find out exactly why I was eating to excess.The recent case of an 11-year old boy from Norfolk whose parents were arrested because he tipped the scales at a "dangerously overweight" 15 stone brought the memories of my own childhood flooding back these memories.The ways people are visually or sexually attracted to others do align with cultural beauty ideals.That’s as true today as when the ideal was larger bodies, when it was pale skin or when it was tanned skin, when it was big breasts or when it was small breasts.By the time I hit secondary school, the apron strings were loosened.Suddenly I was able to taste freedom, and forbidden foods - and my weight increased.

I remember the hospital specialist explaining how controlling my weight was the key to health of my body.We should be critical of beauty ideals for a lot of reasons, rather than letting them starve us of appreciating all kinds of bodies.You’re already feeling the sting of what can happen when you give those ideals power.If you would feel a lot better meeting that ideal, you could easily swing it by taking a shower in the morning when the water’s not hot enough, or getting half-dressed for work while watching Have a sex, sexual-health or relationships question you want answered? By sending a question to that address, you acknowledge you give permission for your question to be published.Your email address and any other personally identifying information will remain private.

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